Below is the world’s toughest crossword…
Lucky they provided the answer at the bottom, otherwise I might have spent all day trying to figure it out.
Archive for Word bits
Shaik’s Behaviour Explained
So yesterday I reported that old Shaik, our lovable fraudster, had been spotted driving around, playing golf and horror of horrors, buying balloons! Read the erroneous post here.
But don’t panic, before we condemn the poor guy Hayibo has quickly cleared up the confusion. Apparently his trip was sponsored by reach for a dream.
Below is the article that cleared up the confusion.
Shaik's dream wasn't grand
Shaik’s Durban BMW cruise a Reach For A Dream outing
DURBAN. The ANC has confirmed that it was deathly ill fraudster Schabir Shaik who was seen driving through Durban this week, saying that the outing was organized by Reach For A Dream. “Comrade Schabir has only years to live,” said a spokesman, “and he wanted to see his beloved Durban one last time. And buy some balloons. And a pie and a Coke.”
The former financial advisor of President Jacob Zuma was sentenced to 15 years in prison for fraud, but was released on medical parole after serving two years in a private clinic after doctors diagnosed him with a fatal condition known as “life”, an ailment with a 100-percent mortality rate.
At the time of his release various doctors, many of them with actual qualifications earned at genuine training colleges, panel-beaters and ANC re-education centers, explained that Shaik was in the final stage of “life”, with only decades left to live, and urged that he be released from prison to spend his remaining 40 or 50 years with his family at home.
However an alleged sighting of Shaik driving his luxury BMW through Durban this week has again raised questions about his condition.
According to the Democratic Alliance MP who spotted and filmed the alleged outing, the sighting was “manna from white whinger heaven, as if God himself had reached down from the clubhouse of the celestial golf estate” and revealed Shaik to her.
This morning Shaik hit back, describing the alleged video as “a total fabrication”, a statement that many are taking seriously as Shaik is considered a world-class authority on total fabrications.
However, the ANC has stepped in to calm the situation, saying that Shaik’s outing was organized by Reach For A Dream.
According to spokesman Kickbax Mxenge, the “ANC looks after its own”.
“We thought we would do something nice for Comrade Schabir,” he explained. “We asked him to make a list of everything he still wanted to experience in life and one final tour of Durban was fourth on the list.”
He said the first three choices had included being given back all his money, being appointed Deputy President, and setting fire to everyone who had been unkind to him, but Mxenge said that these had been “impractical for now”.
“Which is not to say that Comrade Schabir can’t end up as Deputy President,” he added. “With this government anything is possible.”
Well done Hayibo, what would we do without you?
Honest Advertising
Sometimes I think ads should just be more honest…
But not this honest.
Why truthful advertising will never catch on
Top 5 Jobs
So seeing as I already have my dream job. Cough cough…
Are you reading this boss?
Thought I’d share 5 of the most interesting/weird jobs out there.
Zombie (salary: £30,000)
At almost the same time as the Somerset caves were looking for a new witch, the London Bridge Experience and London Tombs (which is in London, we think) was advertising for a new zombie. The spooky attraction said that, due to the economic downturn, they had a record number of applicants for the undead role – which eventually went to Louie McKenna, 23, from Birmingham, and former archaeologist Jeremiah O’Connor, 26, from Cork.
State Jester (salary negotiable)
A job that hasn’t existed for over 350 years was unexpectedly advertised again in 2004, when English Heritage decided that the nation really needed a state jester again. Nobody had held that role since the reign of Charles I in 1649, after which notorious funnyman Oliver Cromwell abolished the post.
Porn presenter (salary: £220 per shift)
If you thought that Jobcentres never had any interesting jobs, think again – earlier this month, they advertised for the host of a TV porn channel. The job requires good communication skills, as duties involve ‘explicit sexual dialogue’, and you must be willing to work semi-naked. If that job interests you, you might also want to know about the strip club holding a lapdance job fair.
Watching paint dry (salary: undisclosed)
If you think your job is dull, spare a thought for Keith Jackson: a worker at paint manufacturer Aquatic Coatings, whose job is to watch (and time) paint drying. ‘It may be boring, but it’s important that the paint dries quickly,’ he notes, sagely.
Reg knew it was a tough job, but someone had to do it
The Best Job In The World (salary: £73,400, plus perks)
A PR stunt to promote tourism in Queensland went better than any marketing man could dream, as the offer of a highly paid job which mostly consisted of swimming, exploring and generally chilling right the hell out on an island in the Great Barrier Reef prompted a flood of entries and worldwide media attention. The eventual successful applicant was a Brit, bungee jumping and scuba diving enthusiast Ben Southall, who immediately earned the hatred of pretty much everyone else in the world.
Murray Fever
Apparently England’s great white hope, Andy Murray, is attracting more than his fair share of female admirers.
The ginger-ninja Scot has a legion of female fans who even camp outside of Wimbledon to get a ticket to see their idol in action. Now as a fellow ginger I’m not knocking the man but come on, he is not hot!!
Coach says if I make it to 1000 I get an ice-cream
I know that the Englishman are severely lacking in the looks department but come on girls!
There must be some other sportsman more deserving of your drool.
Ginger Ninja attack!
Legions of blind female fans camping outside Wimbledon
But they will have to get past Andy’s two biggest female fans – his mum and girlfriend.
Now that is quite a looker you’ve landed yourself there Ands, we hear she even cuts your hair for you.
Wonder if she would be there if you were say a street cleaner?
Come on mama's gotta get a new car
What am I going to do on Monday’s now??
I didn’t want to believe it, but last night was the finale of Grey’s!!!!
Yes it’s true, no more drama-filled Monday evenings. I don’t know what I am going to do with myself. But this season finale was possibly the most gut-wrenching, tear-jerking one yet.
I didn’t think it possible but the writers managed to fit in even more drama and squeeze in a few impossible and unbelievable plot lines.
If you haven’t seen the episode yet then don’t read any further!! Spoiler alert!!!
Below is a viewers review from the Boston Globe.
‘Grey’s Anatomy’ finale review
Spoiler alert!!!
When it comes to TV, rumors often turn out to be true. Word was that Katherine Heigl and T.R. Knight were preparing to leave “Grey’s Anatomy.” And at the end of last night’s season finale, both Izzy Stevens and George O’Malley appeared to be gone: Izzy crashing, cancer-stricken, in her hospital bed, George coding in an operating room after being hit by a bus.
In both cases, no one called a time of death; there’s room for resurrection and contract negotiation, not necessarily in that order. But in truth, it wouldn’t be so bad for “Grey’s” to lose these two, instead of straining to squeeze them into yet another season. Their characters have taken so many twists and turns that, at some points, they’ve become unrecognizable.
Perhaps that’s the trouble with a show that’s essentially a soap opera: the need for new romantic story lines can leads to absurdly mismatched pairs, and the Izzy-George affair, a few seasons ago, was a chief offender. This fifth season, Izzy even got carnal with her dead fiancé, Denny (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), as viewers howled in frustration. At least he turned out to be a hallucination: a symptom of her aggressive cancer.
On a show that routinely makes viewers cry, the Izzy cancer story line has been surprisingly unmoving. Perhaps that’s because it played out against the backdrop of well-publicized backstage tensions – Heigl withdrew herself from Emmy consideration last year, saying she hadn’t been “given the material” to justify an award – and the rise of Heigl’s movie career. (Last night’s show, to underscore the issue, contained an ad for an upcoming Heigl film.)
Still, Heigl has had ample chances this season to brush up her Emmy submission: Last night, she played scared, hurt, and eerily sick, as in a scene when the doctors put half of Izzy’s brain to sleep to see if she would lose her memory.
More satisfying, though, was the way some other lead characters returned to form. We saw Bailey briefly resume her role as a maternal figure, bossy and wise. We saw Alex act like a jerk, instead of an eerily supportive husband. The big reveal of the night – the identity of the battered patient from the bus accident – even made nifty reference to the pilot, when George’s fellow interns dubbed him “007.” O’Malley may go out the way he came in.
On the other hand, change can sometimes be good – particularly in the case of Meredith, who has abandoned her longstanding insistence on being miserable and decided to marry McDreamy after all. Last night, she and Derek exchanged vows over Post-it notes as a cover of the “Flashdance” theme song played in the background. May their relationship troubles rest in peace. Forever.
Apparently the next season is released in September…
I can’t wait and I’ll get my stock of triple-ply Kleenex ready. Oh and may there be another addition of man-candy.
I am in tears – RIP Michael
As I am sure everyone in the world knows by now Michael Jackson, an iconic figure in music and entertainment, has passed away. I could have some sarcie comments ready about the troubled star but I was actually a huge fan of his and am too much in shock to make any jokes. Although that could change in a few days…
Michael before the fame
But my heart goes out to his family and friends and fans. I know the havoc that a sudden death can cause and my prayers are with them in this difficult time. Despite all his issues and problems no one can deny that Micahel Jackson was a legend and the world mourns the loss of a brilliant musician.
The music video to end all music videos
Michael at the announcement of his concerts in the UK
Below is an expert from an article in the Daily Mail. The full article can be read here.
A life in the limelight aged five to 50: Why we were fascinated by Wacko Jacko
From a successful child star to the biggest performer on the planet, Michael Jackson’s entire life has been played out under the spotlight of both the global media and an adoring public.
The boy who began his career as a cute youngster in The Jackson 5 grew up to be one of the most iconic and enigmatic figures in music history.
But despite his fame and success, Jackson – who died last night – courted controversy and acclaim in equal measure.
Despite his child stardom, it was as a solo artist that he achieved global fame with smash hits such as Billie Jean and Bad.
Thriller, released in 1982, is the biggest-selling album of all time, shifting 65m copies, according to the Guinness Book of World Records.
But it was the tales of oxygen chambers, chimp chums, shopping sprees and physical transformation that have brought intrigue and amusement and earned the singer the nickname Wacko Jacko.
Disquiet over the 50-year-old star’s behaviour turned to alarm after a documentary in which the singer pronounced sharing a bedroom with a child to be “charming” and an incident in Germany in which he dangled his baby son Prince Michael II over a balcony.
In a 2003 interview with Martin Bashir, which was supposed to bolster Jackson’s image, the singer said of sharing a bed with a young boy: “It’s a beautiful thing.
“It’s very right, it’s very loving. Because what’s wrong with sharing a love?”
A warrant was issued for his arrest on charges of sexually molesting 12-year-old Gavin Arvizo. Jackson surrendered himself to police amid a media furore.
He pleaded not guilty to the allegations and after a trial conducted in the full glare of the world’s media, Jackson was cleared of all the charges.
After his acquittal in 2005, Jackson kept a low profile.
The talented Jackson children had a tough upbringing and as he grew up, his appearance altered drastically.
Jackson denied undergoing extensive plastic surgery, claiming instead he suffered from a skin condition called vitiligo and he had treatment to improve his breathing and singing.
The Peter Pan of pop’s Neverland ranch was a child-like fantasy complete with a zoo, Ferris wheel, roller-coaster and video arcade.
Eyebrows were further raised when Jackson took to sleeping in an oxygen chamber and adopted a chimp named Bubbles as a companion.
He often conveyed an androgynous image and his marriage to Lisa Marie Presley, the daughter of Elvis Presley, was greeted with some surprise.
The 1994 union, which collapsed after 19 months, came just months after the singer’s reputation was rocked by allegations of child abuse by 13-year-old Jordy Chandler.
He reportedly settled the case out of court for £11 million (20 million dollars) although he always denied wrong-doing.
Jackson’s second short-lived marriage, in contrast to the high profile of his first, was to nurse Debbie Rowe in 1996.
He named their two children after himself – Prince Michael Jackson and Paris Michael Katherine, and took an unusual approach to protecting them from the media glare by covering their faces.
After the couple divorced in 1999, Jackson took on sole responsibility for their children’s upbringing.
His third child, Prince Michael II, was born to a mystery surrogate mother he never even met.
In 2002, Jackson caused a public outcry by dangling the baby – referred to as “Blanket” – out of a third-floor hotel balcony in front of the world’s press. He later said he regretted the incident.
In November last year, Jackson and an Arab sheikh suing him at the High Court in London for £4.7 million parted ‘amicably’ after agreeing a settlement to their dispute.
Poegeyed 