Archive for September, 2009

People Of Walmart

This is why I love America, it is filled with such classy individuals.

Especially at Walmart.  This is where the full glory of America and her people can be seen.

Cause I always have the odd dead relative in my boot

Cause I always have the odd dead relative in my boot

And some clever people have created a site dedicated just to those wonderful freaks of nature that you spot when shopping – peopleofwalmart.

I think we could create our own South African version, “Check What I saw at Checkers”.

Yes you are seeing a 65+ man with delicious breast implants

Yes you are seeing a 65+ man with delicious breast implants

Another Celebrity Death

Tweet, the Toys R Us giraffe, died recently… Why God why?

Tweet had heard his last "Hows the weather up there?" joke

Tweet had heard his last "Hows the weather up there?" joke

The celebrity animal appeared in movies like Evan Almighty and television commercials for Toys R Us.

Below is an article from pawnation detailing his tragic passing and subsequent calls from PETA for an investigation!


‘Tweet’ the Giraffe’s Sudden Death Prompts PETA to Instigate Federal Investigation

It's a bit of a tall order

It's a bit of a tall order

The shocking death of an 18 year-old giraffe named Tweet — who appeared in movies like Evan Almighty and television commercials for Toys R Us — has stunned his owners and prompted the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) to call for a federal investigation.

Tweet had just finished filming his scenes in Zookeeper — a romantic comedy starring Kevin James and Rosario Dawson that is slated for an October 8, 2010 release — when the giraffe suddenly collapsed in his enclosure, reports the Boston Herald. According to the Gainesville Sun, one of Tweet’s owners, Patty Rivers, was in the enclosure with Tweet “when she noticed him list to the side and then topple.”

Veterinarians were hastily summoned, but Tweet was dead. The giraffe seemed healthy when examined the day before. “[The vets] said he was in excellent shape and everything looked good,” Rivers told the Gainesville Sun. “We think he had a brain aneurysm or a stroke or something because it happened so quick.”

Tweet was pronounced dead on September 11 at the Franklin Park Zoo in Boston, quoted American Humane, an organization that dispatches certified animal safety representatives to film and television sets across the country to monitor animal safety during filming. (Read an in-depth interview that Paw Nation previously conducted with an American Humane certified animal safety representative.)

PETA, which has long objected to the use of animals on Zookeeper, filed a complaint with the United States Department of Agriculture, alleging possible violations of the Animal Welfare Act, reports the Boston Herald. According to a statement on PETA’s website, a whistleblower contacted PETA, saying that “Tweet’s premature death may have resulted from his eating pieces of the blue tarp that covered his enclosure” and that “Tweet’s owner and trainers were notified that the giraffe had been eating the tarp but that they did nothing about it.”

Tweet lived in Florida as part of a menagerie of exotic animals owned by Animals in Motion, which claims to provide “the only working giraffes on the East Coast.”

Rivers, who is a co-owner of Animal Motion, told the Gainesville Sun that “we thought [Tweet would] be with us another 15 years.” PETA alleges that, in the wild, giraffes can live into their mid-twenties.

Despite the animal abuse allegations by PETA, American Humane’s Jone Bauman “said a necropsy performed at the zoo within 30 minutes of Tweet’s death did not find any pieces of tarp in the giraffe’s mouth or stomach,” reports the Boston Herald. Experts are still trying to determine the exact cause of Tweet’s untimely death.

Working giraffes?  Makes them sound pimpin…

Although I think 18 is a pretty good run for a giraffe.

RIP Tweet.

Copy Paste

I’ve always felt really sorry for twins whose parents dress them the same.

But I feel even sorrier for these two. Especially for “Paste”.

Somehow I don't think that's how we were really made

Somehow I don't think that's how we were really made

Kanye, You’re a C#nt

From bestweekever.TV, here are the top 6 theories behind Kanye’s c#nt-like behaviour at the VMA’s.

6. HE’S GONE FULL RETARD We’re actually serious about this. Only a few hours after the incident, Kanye blogged a sort of non-pology, saying that he’s sorry for what he did, but still believing that the action was completely and totally necessary BECAUSE BEYONCE DESERVED IT YEEZY. Read this and cry a blood tear that this man is definitely wealthier than you are:

I are a ....

I are a ....

5. HAIR WARNING: Kanye was still a little zonked and light-headed after the Ghost of Keith Haring visited him with a buzzsaw (much like he once did to an unsuspecting Grace Jones) as evidenced here:

Come on Taylor, don't be dissing a brother's do

Come on Taylor, don't be dissing a brother's do

4. HUG LIFE: Kelly Clarkson — one of this year’s VH1 Divas, and now we know why — wonders aloud on her blog I Am Kelly if Kanye is acting out following a less than warm childhood:

Dear Kanye,

KELLY CLARKSON KANYE WESTWhat happened to you as a child?? Did you not get hugged enough??… I mean, I’ve seen you do some pretty sh*tty things, but you just keep amazing me with your tactless, asshole ways. It’s absolutely fascinating how much I don’t like you. I like everyone. I even like my asshole ex that cheated on me over you…which is pretty odd since I don’t even personally know you. The best part of this evening is that you weren’t even up for THIS award and yet you still have a problem with the outcome. Is winning a moon man that much of a life goal?? You can have mine if it will shut you up. Is it that important, really??…
On a side note, Beyonce has always been a class act and proved again tonight that she still is. Go TEXAS!!

Taylor Swift, you outsell him ….that’s why he’s bitter. You know I love your work! Keep it up girl!

KC 🙂

If we come across Kelly at the event this Thursday, we will high five her for the world.

3. #1 SH*T RECORD:

Singer Pink thinks it might have something to do with the fact that Kanye is a Guinness World Record holder as “World’s Largest Piece of Dookie”:

@Pink: Kanye west is the biggest piece of sh*t on earth. Quote me.

2. WRONG PLACE, WRONG TIME: Kanye thought for a brief moment that he was at an event that was much, much, much, much more important than the VMAs:

1. BLAME IT ON THE ALCOHOL: Kanye was not in his right mind, as he had just downed a bottle and a half of Henny. He was so drunk, in fact, that he insisted he would not leave the show until security found his date, who just happened to be a Giant Bootysnake from Planet Androgynintonic whom he also hallucinated:

Class your ass

Class your ass

Hmmmm, some of them could have merit.

Although I think the snake lady had something to do with it…

Caleb Needs a Penis or Two

Caleb needs some dudes to go on his Facebook to prove to his girlfriend that he’s got a lot of male friends, let’s help him out guys.

Damn I don't have a penis, yet

Damn I don't have a penis, yet

Ginger Nuts

Being one of the minority of the red-head clan, I am constantly appalled at the discrimination against us gingers…

Who could forget the “Ginger Kids” South Park episode?

Take me to your leader

Take me to your leader

But it seems I should move to Holland, where having red hair is celebrated!

A festival just for red heads, imagine that.  I bet no one was asking each other why they were so pale, why did they have so many freckles, or do the curtains match the carpet.

Below is an article from The Independent regarding this momentous celebration of fiery follicles.

Red hair? It’s so this season

As a child I used to get called “Duracell”, “copper-coloured top”, “ginger-nut” and “Orangina”, admits Jordan Adams. “When I was a teenager groups of boys used to hang out of their car windows and yell at me, ‘gingaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar!'”

There’s little chance that Adams, a 35-year-old music teacher from Brighton, would have heard these “gingerphobic” terms bandied about at Roodharigendag (redhead day) in the Dutch city of Breda. The two-day event, which took place last weekend, is a gathering for people with natural red hair. The event, which started in 2005, was the brainchild of Bart Rouwenhorst, a 38-year-old Dutch scientist and a part-time artist who, to start with, wanted to paint 15 red-headed models. However, after placing an ad in a local newspaper, he attracted 150 models, and decided to photograph them all in Breda’s town centre. The idea of a group photo featuring redheads snowballed in popularity and last year 2,000 of them from 20 countries were featured for the picture; around 3,000 turned up this year.

“Redheads always stand out and it’s difficult to find a place in this world,” explains Rouwenhorst. “This is a festival that celebrates difference.”

But red hair appears to be fiercely fashionable. BBC2’s preposterous Desperate Romantics focused on the Pre-Raphaelite painters and their adoration of redheads, Hollywood’s newest sweetheart Amy Adams is red and proud, flame-tressed Lily Cole is arguably our “hottest” model and the third in line to the throne, Prince Harry, is a ginger. The increasing success of Roodharigendag – the festival is experiencing “100 per cent growth each year” – is another sign of a redhead renaissance.

“This festival is unique,” adds Rouwenhorst, whose favourite redheads, for the record, are Josh Homme from Queens of the Stone Age and Meryl Streep. “The people don’t come for somebody famous who has red hair, they come for each other.”

Rousing stuff and it makes me, a reddish-head myself, want to break into “all we are saying is give redheads a chance”. However, a lot of redheads don’t feel the same way.

“The very notion of a redhead festival depresses the hell out of me,” says 29-year-old Dan Sait. “I don’t subscribe to this ‘we’re special’ crap, either. As far as I’m aware I have no special ginger-witch powers, I just happen to have a hair colour that makes white van men want to throw empty cigarette packets at me.”

James Spencer, a 37-year-old from Ipswich, concurs, pointing out: “I wish I’d thought of such a pointless way to make money.” Rachel Drayson, a 29-year-old teacher from Surrey, is a little more relaxed about the idea, but confesses she “might be unnerved by my sudden non-uniqueness”.

Bart, who is blonde, not ginger, points out that there is a little prejudice towards redheads in Holland, but maintains it appears much worse in England. Sait agrees: “As an English bloke with red hair I’ve certainly had to put up with way more than my fair share of random abuse but there’s nothing I can do about it.

“As a kid the abuse was non-stop. Amazingly, at nearly 30 years old, I still, very occasionally, get people bellowing “Ginga!” from cars.”

Perhaps it’s time to follow Rouwenhorst’s lead and set up a British Rood-harigendag. After all, if it can happen in the Netherlands, where only 2 per cent of the country has red hair, maybe it’s only a matter of time until the Scotland (13 per cent) and Ireland (with 10 per cent) embrace the idea of a redhead celebration too. Here’s to UK redhead day 2010. Ben Walsh

Every Dog Gets His Day

I love those too cute cat pictures that pile up in my inbox every day.  I mean come on who doesn’t?  But our friends at Ulresque have declared a cat free day.

Yip that’s right, those little felines deserve a day off too you know!

Urlesque Announces A Day Without Cats on 9.9.09


Cats rule the internet. Think about all the funny cat photos and videos that infest your IM conversations, Facebook walls and e-mail forwards from mom — our feline overlords have sneakily solidified themselves as a staple of the interweb humor we love so dearly.

Don’t believe us? Salon and Entertainment Weekly have also had the same startling realization. Heck, we even awarded them with a lifetime acheivement honor in the 2008 year-end Urlies. But whether you’re a bona fide cat lady who loves it all, or someone who can’t stand the over-population of cats on the interwebs, we can all agree that cats need a break.

Urlesque hears your cries for help.

After getting inspired by our friends at Asylum, Urlesque is organizing a web-wide ban on cat-related coverage on 9.9.09A Day Without Cats on the Internet.

Why only one day? Well let’s be honest, that’s probably only as long as we’ll last before a hilarious video comes crashing into our inbox. But for one day, we will abstain… for you… for the cats.

So join us tomorrow and say “No more pussy!”  (Sorry couldn’t help myself)

Kid Loves to Suck

Okay so here is one kid who is never going to fit in.

I mean never.

His parents might as well accept that he is going to live with them forever and should start his blow-up doll fund now.

On the the other hand their house must be really clean…

I just shudder to think what happens when he hits puberty and discovers what else hoovers can be used for.

I’d also suggest regularly checking those vacuum bags for body parts.

No Reward

This little kid’s quite bleak about his bike being stolen.

But a real novel ‘reward’ poster I thought.

Crime does pay - not in the best way though

Who said crime doesn't pay?

Hiding From Clients

Obviously this business has more clients than they need, or want.

Sometimes I wish I could do this when my boss comes in to give me a new brief.

The photocopier guy is my personal favourite.