From bestweekever.TV, here are the top 6 theories behind Kanye’s c#nt-like behaviour at the VMA’s.
6. HE’S GONE FULL RETARD We’re actually serious about this. Only a few hours after the incident, Kanye blogged a sort of non-pology, saying that he’s sorry for what he did, but still believing that the action was completely and totally necessary BECAUSE BEYONCE DESERVED IT YEEZY. Read this and cry a blood tear that this man is definitely wealthier than you are:
5. HAIR WARNING: Kanye was still a little zonked and light-headed after the Ghost of Keith Haring visited him with a buzzsaw (much like he once did to an unsuspecting Grace Jones) as evidenced here:
4. HUG LIFE: Kelly Clarkson — one of this year’s VH1 Divas, and now we know why — wonders aloud on her blog I Am Kelly if Kanye is acting out following a less than warm childhood:
What happened to you as a child?? Did you not get hugged enough??… I mean, I’ve seen you do some pretty sh*tty things, but you just keep amazing me with your tactless, asshole ways. It’s absolutely fascinating how much I don’t like you. I like everyone. I even like my asshole ex that cheated on me over you…which is pretty odd since I don’t even personally know you. The best part of this evening is that you weren’t even up for THIS award and yet you still have a problem with the outcome. Is winning a moon man that much of a life goal?? You can have mine if it will shut you up. Is it that important, really??…
On a side note, Beyonce has always been a class act and proved again tonight that she still is. Go TEXAS!!
Taylor Swift, you outsell him ….that’s why he’s bitter. You know I love your work! Keep it up girl!
If we come across Kelly at the event this Thursday, we will high five her for the world.
3. #1 SH*T RECORD:
Singer Pink thinks it might have something to do with the fact that Kanye is a Guinness World Record holder as “World’s Largest Piece of Dookie”:
@Pink: Kanye west is the biggest piece of sh*t on earth. Quote me.
2. WRONG PLACE, WRONG TIME: Kanye thought for a brief moment that he was at an event that was much, much, much, much more important than the VMAs:
1. BLAME IT ON THE ALCOHOL: Kanye was not in his right mind, as he had just downed a bottle and a half of Henny. He was so drunk, in fact, that he insisted he would not leave the show until security found his date, who just happened to be a Giant Bootysnake from Planet Androgynintonic whom he also hallucinated:
Hmmmm, some of them could have merit.
Although I think the snake lady had something to do with it…