Posts Tagged ‘Epic Fail’

Science Fair Fails

The US schools hold science fairs which allow students to show off their scientific experiments and projects for the year.

Most are incredibly boring, I remember when we had to see what a bean would grow best in – cotton wool, steel wool or dirt.

Wow and the results really were a shocker (hint it was dirt).
But these beauts are far from boring.

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Gay sex bad - bestiality ok

 

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Just a guess as to what those plants are in his bedroom

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Wasn't aware there was a debate

 

Even better one - electricity vs girl

Even better one - electricity vs girl

 

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I'm sure the research was exhaustive

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Caleb Needs a Penis or Two

Caleb needs some dudes to go on his Facebook to prove to his girlfriend that he’s got a lot of male friends, let’s help him out guys.

Damn I don't have a penis, yet

Damn I don't have a penis, yet

Shaik’s Behaviour Explained

So yesterday I reported that old Shaik, our lovable fraudster, had been spotted driving around, playing golf and horror of horrors, buying balloons! Read the erroneous post here.

But don’t panic, before we condemn the poor guy Hayibo has quickly cleared up the confusion.  Apparently his trip was sponsored by reach for a dream.

Below is the article that cleared up the confusion.

Shaik's dream wasn't grand

Shaik's dream wasn't grand

Shaik’s Durban BMW cruise a Reach For A Dream outing

DURBAN. The ANC has confirmed that it was deathly ill fraudster Schabir Shaik who was seen driving through Durban this week, saying that the outing was organized by Reach For A Dream. “Comrade Schabir has only years to live,” said a spokesman, “and he wanted to see his beloved Durban one last time. And buy some balloons. And a pie and a Coke.”

The former financial advisor of President Jacob Zuma was sentenced to 15 years in prison for fraud, but was released on medical parole after serving two years in a private clinic after doctors diagnosed him with a fatal condition known as “life”, an ailment with a 100-percent mortality rate.

At the time of his release various doctors, many of them with actual qualifications earned at genuine training colleges, panel-beaters and ANC re-education centers, explained that Shaik was in the final stage of “life”, with only decades left to live, and urged that he be released from prison to spend his remaining 40 or 50 years with his family at home.

However an alleged sighting of Shaik driving his luxury BMW through Durban this week has again raised questions about his condition.

According to the Democratic Alliance MP who spotted and filmed the alleged outing, the sighting was “manna from white whinger heaven, as if God himself had reached down from the clubhouse of the celestial golf estate” and revealed Shaik to her.

This morning Shaik hit back, describing the alleged video as “a total fabrication”, a statement that many are taking seriously as Shaik is considered a world-class authority on total fabrications.

However, the ANC has stepped in to calm the situation, saying that Shaik’s outing was organized by Reach For A Dream.

According to spokesman Kickbax Mxenge, the “ANC looks after its own”.

“We thought we would do something nice for Comrade Schabir,” he explained. “We asked him to make a list of everything he still wanted to experience in life and one final tour of Durban was fourth on the list.”

He said the first three choices had included being given back all his money, being appointed Deputy President, and setting fire to everyone who had been unkind to him, but Mxenge said that these had been “impractical for now”.

“Which is not to say that Comrade Schabir can’t end up as Deputy President,” he added. “With this government anything is possible.”

Well done Hayibo, what would we do without you?

Useless Inventions

Can't I just have a biscuit?

Can't I just have a biscuit?

Now I know what to get my nephew for Christmas

Now I know what to get my nephew for Christmas

Yogurt flavoured Pepsi, only in Japan

Yogurt flavoured Pepsi, only in Japan

Now you have no excuse

Now you have no excuse

So much easier to blow up your toast

So much easier to blow up your toast

Beware The Reckless Facebook Status

Just a word to the wise, always be careful who you add as your Facebook friend…

Like your boss.

Dumb girl now has to update her work info

Dumb girl now has to update her work info

Worst Name – Ever!

This has to be the worst name… ever!

No contest.

I dare you to find a worse one, but I know you won’t.

Rusty was never allowed to sign autographs

Rusty was never allowed to sign autographs

Barney Helps Little Boy Brush Teeth

Hmmm found this clip from Barney showing how fun it is to brush your teeth…

This little boy just seems to darn excited about brushing his teeth.

Look how Barney just stands there watching him, with such a creepy look on his dinosaur face.

Mugabe Conned

A lady who can make diesel come out of a rock…

Sounds legit to me, as it did to Mugabe when a dodgy medicine woman managed to con Mugabe’s government out of US$1m (note that is US not Zim, she wasn’t so stupid after all).

Below is the full story from News24.

Unleaded was proving more of a challenge

Unleaded was proving more of a challenge

Trickster convicted of fraud

Harare – A medicine woman, who conned President Robert Mugabe’s government out of about US$1m by bamboozling ministers into believing she could tap diesel fuel from a rock, was convicted of fraud at the weekend, state media reported on Monday.

Rotina Mavhunga, who goes by the alias of Nomatter Tagirira, found an abandoned fuel tank in the bush near the northern town of Chinhoyi in March 2007.

She filled it with diesel, attached a pipe to the outlet and concealed it at the top of a rock, the Chinhoyi magistrate’s court heard.

She then summoned top government officials to witness her “discovery.” At a signal, a hidden accomplice would open the tap on the pipe and the officials would gasp in amazement as refined diesel poured down the side of the rock.

A cabinet “task force” dispatched by Mugabe to investigate the claim returned to declare that Zimbabwe’s persistent fuel shortages were at an end. Government officials and businessmen lavished money and vehicles on the medium until several months later, when a second group of ministers began to express doubt in the woman.

Judge Ignatius Mugova found Mavhunga guilty of defrauding the government of about US$1m, and of “misrepresenting to a public official” that she could conjure diesel from a stone, the state-controlled Herald daily reported.

The magistrate also named one of the country’s most powerful civil servants, registrar-general Tobaiwa Mudede, as “an interested party” in the fraud.

Mudede, who has run the country’s elections since 2000, had supplied 125 litres of diesel, which the mystic poured down the rock, the judge revealed. When Mavhunga went on the run from police, she was hidden and fed by Mudede, Mugova said.

While finding his behaviour was “disturbing” the judge said he was not convinced Mudede was acting out of self-interest.

Many people who visited Mavhunga’s “shrine” were “gullible” and were clearly “frightened” of her alleged spiritual power, referring to reports that members of the investigating cabinet task force took off their shoes in her presence.

During the trial, Mavhunga would start growling in the dock before the terror-stricken public gallery, but the magistrate said she had been faking a trance to try and have herself declared unfit for trial.

Her conviction was passed “in absentia”, as she had repeatedly failed to turn up after being served the summons, and was believed to be in hiding, the Herald said. Sentencing is expected later in the week.