Feel Like You Can’t COPE Anymore?

So it seems that less than a year after it’s inception ol’ COPE is not coping so well.

60025_resized_cope_logo

Who knew that their name would be ripe for so many lazy puns.

Hau...

Hau...

But there is hope, for Cope.  In the form of Jessica Alba!

Read more below from Hayibo.

Jessica Alba set to rescue COPE

SPRINGS. COPE’s brief love affair with the South African public has come to an end after the fledgling party continued to spiral into oblivion this week, less than a year after it was founded. Yesterday thousands of disillusioned voters were treated for broken hearts and extreme gullibility after they marched to the party’s headquarters only to discover the address they had been given was a vacant East Rand lot.

Commenting at the end of the rally, disillusioned spokesman Lappies Treurverhaal said, “This is worse than that feeling you get when you internet date. There is so much promise. They send you their picture. You send them a picture of your younger brother who plays first team at Pukke. Then you meet and you discover she is actually a 90 kilogram mother of two from Krugersdorp who sent you a picture of Jessica Alba.

“It’s very disappointing.”

But Treurverhaal, who said he had voted UDM in 1999 and ID in 2004, said he would not give up with his quest to find a political home.

“I thought it would be a case of third time lucky. I thought this time it was real. They had me at ‘Hello’,” he said.

But Treurverhaal said he knew the right party for him was out there and that he just needed to find it.

He was already considering his options for the next elections saying he may well throw his lot in with the IFP, even though he wasn’t Zulu and he had no idea what they stood for.

“Or perhaps I’ll even go with the ACDP – even though I don’t believe in God or anything that they stand for,” he said. “Or perhaps that black guy from the DA will form his own party – that would work.”

Commenting on the emotions being experienced by the COPE voters, political analyst Heinrich Kiesser said, “It is very tragic, but somewhat predictable. There’s a certain type of party that preys on these voters. Or perhaps I should say there’s a certain type of voter that is attracted to these kind of parties.”

Asked to explain his theory Kiesser said, “It’s a mixture of white people who see themselves as too liberal to vote for the DA and black people who see themselves as too upper class to vote for the ANC.

Meanwhile, a spokesperson for COPE who asked not to be named said people within the organization were lobbying for a high profile female candidate to be installed as a deputy leader in order to broker peace between the feuding factions. He would neither confirm nor deny conjecture that Jessicsa Alba was due to fill the role.

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