Traffic lights. Wena, those things are flipping rocket science.

Hayibo!  The latest in the Taxi war on the Bus Rapid Transit system.

The taxi industry has called for full ownership of the Bus Rapid Transit system.

“Government must allow the taxi industry to own BRT in its entirety,” National Taxi Alliance secretary-general Alpheus Mlalazi said at a press briefing in Johannesburg today.

The taxi industry had developed the routes the BRT system was targeting, he claimed.

Really?

Hmmm so that means I can claim my route to work as my intellectual property and force all the traffic off the road as it’s my route and no one else’s???

Or even my drive down to Durban.

I mean that took me years and years to work out.

Despite all the helpful road signs.

Below is yet another hilarious article from Hayibo.

The finest minds in the transport industry

The finest minds in the transport industry

Taxi bosses accuse car drivers of plagiarism

JOHANNESBURG. Just a day after claiming that their routes were “intellectual property”, taxi bosses have accused private car drivers of plagiarism, saying that it took decades of intense thought to figure out how major highways worked. Meanwhile negotiators say they have tried to explain the meaning of “intellectual” to taxi bosses but are making no headway.

The National Taxi Alliance raised eyebrows and liquefied stomachs yesterday by demanding that the proposed Rapid Bus Transport System be handed over to taxi operators to run, as transport routes were their “intellectual property”.

However, this morning NTA spokesman Donny “Blacksnake” Mbala added private car users to the Association’s list of people liable to have bricks thrown at them.

“This is plagiarism,” said Mbala. “These people in their cars are opportunistically and cynically driving on routes that took our members decades to plan and develop.”

He said the public had no idea of how complex tarred roads really were, and that it had required some of the finest minds in the taxi industry to figure out how major highways worked.

“For starters, did you know that you have to drive on the left?” said Mbala. “We only found that out yesterday.

“And traffic lights. Geez, wena, those things are flipping rocket science.”

He explained that because traffic lights featured three lights, drivers were presented with “like a million different permutations” of what to do, and that the NTA had therefore instructed its members to drive through intersections regardless of their colour “to guarantee the safety of passengers”.

“The roads are incredibly dangerous,” said Mbala. “All these people in their cars, all driving on the left, all stopping unpredictably at stop signs or at red lights, as if they actually understand how roads work.

“Even a moment’s hesitation trying to figure out what to do at a traffic light could cause an accident.”

Meanwhile he said that the NTA’s negotiators were getting “well prepared” for their next meeting with the state, at which they will repeat their demand to be given the Bus Rapid Transport system, worth billions, for free.

“Whispering Death Mhlanga and Axe Phiri are leading the negotiation,” he said. “We’ve bought them new 9-mils with the serial numbers filed off and everything. It’s going to be off the hook.”

He also used the opportunity to “deny once and for all” that the taxi industry is a front for organized crime.

“We are not the mafia,” said Mbala. “When the mafia wants you dead, they machine-gun you in a restaurant so you fall face-first in your spaghetti.

“When we want you dead we just shoot you sommer anywhere – in your bus, in your car, out in the veld, on the toilet. So obviously we’re not the mafia.”

Meanwhile government negotiators say they have once again tried to explain the meaning of the word “intellectual” to the NTA, but said that taxi owners “just put their fingers in their ears and start screaming, ‘Nya nya nya nyaaaaa!'”.

“Or they say, ‘Intellectualize this!’ and then they throw a half-brick at you,” explained one negotiator. “It’s quite depressing.”

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